The SALIFE Awards guide to surviving a wardrobe malfunction
With summer party season here and ahead of the 2024 SALIFE Awards, presented by Brand South Australia, we share how to prepare for any outfit mishaps like a pro. Celebs, are you paying attention?
You know that moment when you’re dressed in your finest party gear – feeling sartorially elegant like Taika Waititi or effortlessly gorgeous like Mirella Romano – and disaster strikes?
Like when that red wine, elegantly swirling in your glass moments ago, is now painting a Jackson Pollock masterpiece on your new fit.
Don’t panic! We’ve got you covered (quite literally) with our guide to surviving wardrobe disasters, thanks to the SALIFE Awards, presented by Brand South Australia.
Because, let’s face it, upmarket parties are essentially an obstacle course.
You’re navigating crowds while clutching a champagne flute, dodging gesturing arms and trying to eat something that’s more handful than hors d’oeuvre – all while wearing shoes that weren’t designed for actual walking.
It’s practically an Olympic sport.
First, let’s talk about what you should smuggle in, as your tiny evening bag or suit pocket becomes a personal emergency kit.
Think Swiss army knife preparedness…
A couple of safety pins, band aids for blisters, double-sided tape, nail scissors, needle & cotton, mini pliers and heel tips should see you through.
You might like
Now, let’s address some possible disasters and solutions:
The Unravelling Fringe
If you’re channelling Zendaya or the OG shimmy goddess Tina Turner by rocking a fringed outfit, you’ll want to carry nail scissors. One unravelled and low hanging tassel will likely weigh heavily on your mind, especially if it’s front and centre on your fit.
Scissors also prove useful when the price tag’s still intact.
The Wine Incident
Before you burst into tears over that spill on your dress, remember red wine is just aged grape juice – very expensive grape juice. So, have a bracing sip and then quickly get to work.
Grab a glass of soda water from the nearest drinks tray and make for the bathroom. Bunch the stained fabric up and submerge in the soda to release the offending wine, then dry over the hand dryer.
Honestly, there’s no shame in being caught fanning a frock over a Dyson like Marilyn Monroe (social media opportunity, anyone?). Once dry, return to the party with your social credibility intact.
The Food Faux Pas
Those tiny appetisers are a minefield of potential disasters. If you drop a prawn inside your blouse, resist the urge to reach for it immediately. That’s amateur hour. Instead, excuse yourself gracefully and deal with it in private.
If you can’t escape, own it. “I’m saving it for my Ashera cat. She’s a darling, but she turns her nose up at anything that’s not at body temperature.”
The Tricky Zipper
Subscribe for updates
If it won’t come down, try a small dab of lip balm. If it won’t stay up, make like Kate Wyler, every woman’s hero in The Diplomat, and use a paperclip. Or a safety pin. Because you, just like her, could see trouble brewing.
The Escaping Flesh
Unless you are aiming to show some front, side or bottom cleavage, double sided invisible fashion tape should be in your handbag. It’s also ideal for holding up spaghetti straps, loose hems and shoes that slip when you’d rather strut. It’s also good for keeping that thigh split dress on this side of the modesty meter.
Should something really devastating happen – like your pants or dress splits – a mini stapler will pull things back together faster than a needle and thread!
The Broken Heel
Nothing says “I’ve got my life together” quite like wobbling across a venue with a broken heel or grinding on the dance floor with a lost heel tip. If this happens, remember, symmetry is overrated.
That said, if you happen to have a spare heel tip (and mini pliers) in your evening bag, it’s a 2-minute fix. It’s best repaired where there’s a hard surface that you can bang against to drive the heel tip into place. Try the bathroom once again, or that alley way with milk crates where the waiting staff hang out.
In all sincerity, the likelihood of you having a wardrobe disaster while out is extremely low.
So, just glam up, get out there and have a brilliant party season!
The SALIFE Awards, presented by Brand South Australia, are on 6pm Wednesday, December 4 at The Piccadilly, North Adelaide.
Everyone is invited – purchase your ticket here.
The SALIFE Awards would like to thank:
Event partners – Bird In Hand, Bickfords, Vale Ale, 23rd Street Distillery, The Piccadilly, Eos by SkyCity, Out in the Paddock, Adelaide BMW, Finsbury Green, White Marquee and Bottega Gelato
Program partners – Terrace Floors + Furnishings, South Pacific Aluminium Windows and Doors, Humanee, Super Studio, University Senior College and Bell & Brunt
Broadcast partner – Network 10
