Trev unmasked | Battle of the beards | When Rex met Jacqui
This week, InSider has a thing for beards and receives a letter from our biggest fan, RAA’s terrifying mascot, Trev the Bee.
InSider has taken the piss out of many a rebrand and mascots in our time, but there’s one we love to hate above them all: RAA’s Trev the Bee. And this week, InSider was informed we would receive a letter from the spawn of Satan himself.
Bee-ing our second-most mentioned entity in 2024 just wasn’t enough for the RAA. They’re going for gold in 2025, going so far as to make Trev put one of his four chimeric hands to paper and write into us.
Bearded ducks AND free Cannoli, Trev’s just begging for our attention. Prego!
On behalf of RAA and Trev, the letter cordially invited us to an event at Rundle Mall’s Fountain, dubbed the Trev-i Fountain. Which, next Friday, will be filled with 3000 BEARDED rubber ducks corresponding with prizes – come the duck on.
We have to point out that bees aren’t the strongest swimmers, so it occurred to us that this could be Trev’s swan song. Although, right below the letter from Trev in our inbox we were alerted that it’s Navy Week, and the Royal Australian Navy will perform in Rundle Mall to celebrate, so perhaps Trev will live to see another InSider.
Now, back to dissecting the letter. It was the greeting, ‘Buongiorno!’ that made us stop in our tracks – Trev is Italian?
Trev, or Trevor, doesn’t have an exact Italian translation we’re aware of, but according to Google’s Generative AI, Trev might like to opt for the translation ‘Teodoro’ which translates to ‘gift of God’. Absolutely not.
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There has been much debate about Trev’s lineage. When his current half-man, half-bee form – which laughs in the face of God – was unveiled, we were told Trev was “back”.
Not having a Seniors Card, InSider had to Google to find evidence of the previous ‘Trev’, but he’s allegedly a hat tip to the RAA ads of old with George Kapiniaris and his long-suffering sidekick, Trevor. The ABC has pointed out he resembles gardener (sorry, landscape architect) Costa Georgiadis. But we have a new contender.
We were initially offended that the letter was not signed by Trev himself, surely he couldn’t bee too busy filming his onslaught of advertising. The diva could spare a second to give us a scribble on the bottom of the marketing team’s carefully worded invitation.
The letter was signed by RAA Chief Marketing Officer Michael Healy (who has admitted to being an InSider fan) and now is our number one suspect for Trev himself, and really if we had been more active on LinkedIn we should have seen it sooner.
His profile picture? A rendering of himself as the winged abomination!
Dun, dun, dunnnn!
Despite the evident beardless-ness, he does have a spattering of fur around his neck raising the question… is the bearded weirdo and his bushy eyebrows a mask?
Perhaps he’ll take a page out of the Adelaide Crows book…
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Adelaide’s best beard goes to…
Before we received the letter that sent us into a conspiracy theorising tailspin over the fuzzy atrocity’s lineage, InSider was happily minding our own business thoughtlessly scrolling through the depths of Instagram when our favourite – and top-tier – South Australia football team popped up on our feed. We’d never flick past anything from you, Adelaide Crows.
‘Adelaide’s Best Beard’ beams in red and gold writing. Well, who could it be?
Riley Thilthorpe of course is the first face we spot. Who could forget Thilly’s first game back from injury last year when he kicked two goals against St Kilda after being subbed on in the last quarter? He flexed his muscles like Godzilla in front of the home crowd while his newly grown-out beard sparkled under the Adelaide Oval lights.
We didn’t forget. It was heavenly. So it was no surprise when we spotted him in the top left corner of the Instagram post.
Taylor Walker is the next Crow we see with a photo from his early career. However, when it comes to that Tex-era, we tend to remember the back of his head (his mullet) not so much the front (the beard). Nevertheless, happy to see him and his luscious locks.
Just as we’re peacefully scanning the rest of the bearded Crows players, our heart eyes turn into utter disgust when we see none other than Trev the Bee, awkwardly posing in the bunch. The hairy little bee with eyebrows the size of caterpillars always pops up when we least expect him. Readers do be warned: mindless social media scrolls are no longer safe from his presence!
Match made in heaven
Self-described government pest Rex Patrick has launched his tilt at rejoining the Senate as the South Australian member of Jacquie Lambie’s ‘network’. Teaming up with Lambie seemed a natural fit when during a chat with the former submariner he interrupted and said he had to take a call. Ringing Jacquie back instantly caught her mid-sentence complaining to someone that “fucking Rex never takes my calls”. Non-plussed Rex left a voice message stating “why don’t you ever take my fucking calls?” before hanging up, laughing.
Rex then explained they had the same sense of humour and that when she asked him to be part the Jacquie Lambie Network he used her infamous quote of liking her men rich with a “package between their legs” to respond that he was broke and “bought small condoms”.
No matter the banter, Rex has pledged to be the “’Senator for the Adelaide Park Lands’ to advance the case for World Heritage listing of Adelaide’s unique heritage”. He will also keep filing “an FOI a day”.
