The science behind why sex is good for you
Our resident sexologist explains why sex is good for the soul, sleep and can even make you look younger.
We’ve been told to eat our veggies, get eight hours of sleep, drink water, move our bodies, and journal our feelings. These have all become classic staples of what it means to be a healthy, well-adjusted adult in today’s world. But what if I told you there’s one vital area of health that we keep brushing under the bed covers (literally)? Sexual wellbeing.
As a Sexologist, this is my jam. I’m always on the hunt for new angles to explain just how important our sex lives are for our overall mental and physical health. Sexual health isn’t just about avoiding STIs or managing contraception. Sexual Health is a state of physical, emotional, mental and social well-being in relation to sexuality.
In fact, sexual health has been officially recognised by the World Health Organisation (WHO) as a fundamental human right and an essential part of public health policy. So why are we still finding it so easy to forget about our wellbeing in a sexual way?
Studies estimate around 33 per cent of men and 45 per cent of women experienced at least mild sexual problems in 2022, and around 13 per cent of men and 17 per cent of women had more serious issues that caused them distress. Sexual wellbeing should be seen just like we look at diet, sleep, and exercise and regular awareness, scheduling and routines for keeping it all above water. Almost all studies examining sexual health indicators have found significant links to improved mental health, quality of life, and overall wellbeing. Whether you’re young, old, single, pregnant, menopausal, in a same sex or mixed sex relationship, the benefits of a healthy sex life remain consistent across the board.
Sleep better
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It turns out that sex is great for improving the quality of sleep. After orgasm, your body releases a cocktail of feel-good hormones like oxytocin and prolactin, which promote feelings of calm, connection, and relaxation. At the same time, cortisol (the stress hormone) takes a nosedive, making it easier to unwind and drift off. Having sex with a partner can amplify this effect, especially when there’s emotional intimacy involved. Research even shows that in heterosexual relationships, men tend to report feeling sleepier after sex. This aligns with that old stereotype of men rolling over and passing out, but the twist is, when both partners orgasm, the sleepiness levels even out.
Another UK survey found that couples who sleep naked together are more likely to report satisfaction in their relationship than those who sleep clothed. Skin-on-skin contact triggers oxytocin, a hormone linked to bonding and trust.
My point here is that sexual wellbeing isn’t always about sex; don’t underestimate the power of physical closeness! Sometimes, just a good cuddle will do the job.
Look younger
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Sex can also quite literally reduce the appearance of aging. British clinical psychologist Dr. David Weeks found that people who have regular sex can look five to seven years younger than their actual age.
Amazingly, it’s credited to the release of human growth hormone and endorphins during sex, which enhance skin elasticity and reduce wrinkles. Add in better sleep, boosted immunity, lower cortisol levels, and reduced stress and suddenly, your sex life is looking like the better alternative to Botox. It’s also a major player in mental wellbeing. Research shows that frequent, satisfying sex is associated with lower rates of anxiety and depression and higher life satisfaction. It’s particularly potent during times of emotional upheaval, like pregnancy or menopause, where sexual satisfaction correlates with better physical and psychological outcomes. In other words, pleasure can be a powerful form of self-care.
Sexual wellness has never felt more timely. During the pandemic, as we isolated and distanced, the term “sexual wellness” skyrocketed by 850 per cent in search volume on websites like Cult Beauty. People were suddenly talking about sex again and not just as a pleasure but as a wellbeing priority.
Renowned relationship and sex research center, the Kinsey Institute, found that while sex declined during lockdowns, one in five people expanded their sexual repertoire with things like sexting, massage, fantasy sharing and new positions. These additions made people three times more likely to report improvements in their sex life.
How to nurture your sex life
When we give our sex lives some attention, whether through solo exploration, partnered intimacy, or even just talking about it, we feel better and we live better (and that includes being honest about what we need).
Looking after your sexual wellbeing is multifaceted too. It can look like talking to your GP about taking a lower SSRi because it stopped you from your ability to orgasm, going to a Sexologist or sex therapist (Hello my books are open!), buying a new sex toy, talking to your partner about your fantasies or carving out time for intimacy in your calendar like you would for a workout within your week, it’s about prioritising this part of your life.
Once we stop thinking of sex as an add-on to health and start seeing it for what it is, a core part of our overall wellbeing, it’s going to dramatically improve our overall lives. Trust me, I’ve done the research! And this means not just when things go wrong but all the time. So yes, sex is fucking good for you. Prioritise it, talk about it, protect it, and most importantly, enjoy it.
Stay Safe and stay sexy.
Jamie Bucirde has a postgraduate degree in sexology from Curtin University. Her advice is of a general nature and should be taken in the spirit of the column.
On The Cusp is supported by Adult Bliss Erotica, find out more about their range to support your sexual health and wellness via their website. Read the entire back catalogue of On the Cusp here.