Growing families: The rewards of reunification foster care
Foster carer Nunzia has spent the last nine years fostering babies and playing a part in reuniting them with their birth families. She says the carer journey – though not always easy – is the ‘most rewarding choice’ she’s ever made.
Most of the babies Nunzia fosters via Centacare Foster Care will generally return to their families within 12 to 18 months, but that doesn’t stop her from, as she calls it, “going all in”.
“I’m not very good at holding myself back,” says Nunzia, describing her approach to reunification foster care. “I love them as much as I possibly can.”
She recognises that some people who are thinking about becoming a foster carer may worry that they’ll become too attached to babies and children in their care.
However, she feels if she were to hold back, she wouldn’t be putting in 100 per cent in terms of nurturing the child and providing a loving home.
“I guess the more you do it, the more you learn to accept the way it’s going,” Nunzia says.
This reasoning has guided her through nine years of caring for infants in need of temporary homes, helping reunite eight babies with their families along the way.
For Nunzia, now 52, the journey began by chance. “I was flicking through the Messenger newspaper one day and saw an ad on an upcoming information session with Centacare,” she recalls. “I kept thinking about it and decided to register.”
Centacare Foster Care – an arm of progressive Catholic community services organisation Centacare – provides immediate, short-term, long-term and respite care for children who have been removed from their families, aged 0-17 years.
The focus of the information session was on short-term care reunification foster care, which was relatively new at the time.
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“I really loved the idea of being part of that process,” she recalls. “It had a greater chance of bringing families back together. When I left there, there was no question that I really wanted to pursue it, and I knew I would be great for the role.”
Nunzia says she never looked back.
At that time, she had two adult daughters, one of whom still lived at home, and a son, who was about to start high school.
“I don’t know if they were shocked because it just really came out of nowhere initially, but they were really on board,” she says. “They’ve played a massive part in this journey and, you know, they really love it.”
The rewards have exceeded her expectations.
“I feel a strong sense of achievement and fulfillment,” Nunzia explains. “I feel like I’ve made a difference for each family, as what often starts out as dire circumstances is transformed into a really positive and healing pathway.”
“Families at the beginning of their journey [in the foster care system] feel helpless and in despair, but they [become] more empowered and hopeful moving forward.”
Nunzia says she has been “really, really lucky” to make great connections with most families and maintain a relationship with them and their child.
“I come to visit, I can offer families respite, from time to time we are invited to birthday parties,” she says, adding it’s kind of like being an auntie within the families.
No experience is needed, she says, but “you do need an open heart and mind”.
“Initially, you will receive fairly comprehensive training, but your real experience will be the lived experience as you go.
“Every reunification is unique and I am still learning new skills and I absolutely love that I get to do this over and over again.”
Nunzia is candid and says the role does come with challenges, such as changes in her family’s routine and time spent in addition to hands-on caring.
There are regular meetings with care teams – made up of a Centacare support worker, a Department for Child Protection case worker and, sometimes, extended family members – and the emotional preparation for reunification. “It can be a bit of a juggling act with your own family commitments,” she admits.
She has strong support through Centacare, including valuable training in therapeutic care and attachment-building techniques. “Centacare has been amazing, and I’ve had some amazing DCP workers as well. Usually, the whole team are on the same page, and we try to be as transparent as possible.”
As well, Centacare Foster Care provides mandatory and optional training year-round to help foster carers provide the best care and environment for each child.
The Circle of Security Parenting sessions were “very useful” says Nunzia, as they helped her understand, respond to and support the babies in her care to build attachments to the people closest to them.
Nunzia also found Therapeutic Crisis Intervention for Families (TCIF) useful as the training focusses on supporting foster carers to manage crisis situations in a calm and effective way, fostering more meaningful relationships with children.
During potentially difficult times for birth families, like Christmas, Nunzia finds ways to strengthen family bonds. “We make a personalised gift for birth parents,” she explains. “Often a photo dressed in a Christmas outfit in a frame that we’ve helped decorate, some small gifts. Just letting them know that we’re thinking of them on that day as well.”
In addition to providing reunification care, Nunzia has one long-term foster child who arrived as a baby and is now approaching nine. “He’s stayed forever now,” she says warmly.
At her house on Christmas Eve, there’s matching Christmas pyjamas, a Christmas movie and leaving a key and treats out for Santa.
Then Christmas Day starts early with her oldest daughter and two-year-old grandson joining the family to swap presents and celebrate.
“It’s a long day, but it’s lots of fun and excitement for the kids,” Nunzia says.
Throughout the year, her family takes videos and photos, capturing milestones to share with the birth parents.
Her advice for those considering becoming foster parents is that it’s not for the faint-hearted.
“However, if you would like to see change and make a difference to the lives of vulnerable children and families, I would highly recommend it – it’s the most rewarding choice I ever made,” she says.
“The most rewarding thing is being able to initially create those connections and relationships, hopefully maintaining them lifelong, seeing the growth [in the child and their family] and knowing you had a part in bringing them together and making it more possible.”
For Nunzia, success in foster care comes down to one essential element.
“The main ingredient is love,” she says. “And that’s pretty easy to do.”
