Jamie Bucirde has a postgraduate degree in sexology from Curtin University. Her advice is of a general nature and should be taken in the spirit of the column.
The impact of ‘your body, my choice’ and the 4B movement
Nov 14, 2024, updated Nov 18, 2024
This picture: Claudia Dichiera. Logo graphic: Jayde Vandborg.
Our resident sexologist, Jamie Bucirde, weighs in on Trump’s presidency and how it will affect the dating game in Adelaide.
Q: Hey Jamie,
I’m a woman and I’m straight. I’ve been so angry since the Trump election, and truly feel like the rights for women are regressing heavily. I haven’t seen any of my male friends engage in conversations about misogyny, abortion rights or even ask if their female friends are ok. When I’ve gone on dates in the past and brought up Trump, they’ve found it funny. It’s truly offensive and I feel scared my body rights could be further taken away even though I live in Adelaide. Is it crazy to swear off men all together even though I’m straight?
A: Hey CityMag reader,
Firstly, I understand your anger. I want to validate your experience and, that as a woman, it truly feels like our reproductive rights and bodily autonomy is getting taken from us. It’s scary, and it cuts deep.
American politics has a direct impact on us in Australia and we’ve already seen attempts from different state bodies, including our own, to enforce anti-abortion laws into our legislation. The conversations I’ve been having with my female friends reflect your mindset pretty heavily. Women all over the world are having this same conversation.
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Let’s deep-dive.
Since the Trump election last week (internal screams), we’ve seen an alarmingly high spike in online misogyny. A new report by The Institute for Strategic Dialogue (ISD) ‘Your Body, My Choice’, has identified a rise in harassment against women online that has surged after the national election (which focused heavily on women and reproductive rights and events like the Roe v. Wade decision).
It found that anti-women content grew by 4000 per cent in the 24 hours after the election, with misogynistic narratives gaining momentum across platforms like X, TikTok, and Facebook such as “your body, my choice” and “get back in the kitchen”. These messages amplify harmful stereotypes, advocating for restrictions on women’s rights and fostering an environment that normalises gendered harassment.
We’re also seeing an alarming spike in men commenting on women’s social media accounts with this harmful rhetoric unsolicited.
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The issue here is that this online aggression isn’t confined to digital spaces, but that it’s seeping into real life, affecting women’s safety and our mental health. The ISD report notes that narratives portraying women as subordinate and advocating for the restriction of reproductive rights have fueled a cultural shift that reinforces gender-based control. This new wave of digital misogyny is highlighting a disturbing backlash against women’s autonomy which reflects our societal regression.
Another trending cultural shift has been the “4B movement”, which started in the mid to late 2010s in South Korea following a rise in domestic and sexual violence against women. This includes a 57 per cent increase in dating violence and 138 Korean women murdered by their male intimate partner in 2023.
This radical feminist movement involves swearing off romantic and sexual relationships with men under the four rules: no sex with men, no birth giving, no dating men and no marrying men.
This has led to South Korea having the lowest birth rate in the world and deaths started to outnumber births in 2020, a decade sooner than expected. This 4B trend has also migrated to the United States and other western cultures. With 55 per cent of male voters picking Trump, it makes sense that women are starting to withhold love, sex or relationships from their male counterparts.
When more than half of men are voting for a president who has had dozens of sexual harassment and assault allegations against him, was charged with sexual assault in New York in 2023 and appointed three Supreme Court Justices who abolished the Roe vs Wade ruling, is it that extreme to reconsider how women date?
Women are considering making a huge cultural shift. I think it’s a completely valid and justified response to our safety and wellbeing. Men often feel entitled to sex, yet push to restrict our access to abortion when it’s needed. It’s contradictory – how can they expect both?
This movement underscores that your choices around dating are both personal and valid. Whether you choose to take space from dating men, reconsider the dynamics in your relationships, or have open conversations with potential partners, what matters most is prioritising your mental and emotional well-being. Every woman will process this recent political shift differently, so lean into what feels right for you. Trust your instincts and remember that honouring your values and safety is never extreme, it’s essential.
Stay safe, and stay sexy.